Deathbed Notes

January 25, 2015 by Alisha 8 Comments

At the time of

my last breath

I realize

Birth and death are like

performance of play

Lifetime is like a flash of light

passing by swiftly

as a waterfall down a cliff

 All my life

My ignorant mind

keep believing

I am beautiful

I am powerful

I am immortal

Pride, hatred, and jealousy

ego, desire, and misery

block my mind

like cloud block the sunshine

and

I believe

there is no sunshine

though sunshine is there

 

All my life

I give a damn

to the sick, poor and destitute

never heal their wounds

never look after them

My obscure mind

love my body wholeheartedly

I keep massaging tenderly

thinking

this will last forever

and

pretending

myself as beautiful

Now

my tender skin

turned to thousands of lines

none of the cream

hide my wrinkle

none of the massage oil

make my body strong

All my life

Due to

The Darkness of ignorance

I believe

my friends, parents, relatives

will be with me forever

Now

time has come

I have to leave

my possessions, family, and friends

they won’t follow me anymore

But

my Karma follows me

 

All my life

I forgot to rejoice in the true nature

the self-knowing wisdom

Never understand

the source of all phenomena of

Samsara and Nirvana

is the nature of mind-void, luminous

all-encompassing, vast as the sky

and

I spent my life in Samsara

doing meaningless activities

Never believe

death chases me

from the time of my birth

 

All my life

I forgot equanimity

Hate enemy

But

In the end

We are on the same deathbed

writing death notes

Now

I am begging for death

To extend my life

But

Death is dumb

won’t hear crying

Death is blind

won’t see begging

I cannot use my power

I can’t bribe death

I cannot escape from death

Helpless

I surrender myself

like little mouse surrender

in the swamp

Realizing the truth

I cannot die

in ease and prosperity

I have to come again to Samsara

wander from life to life

with no particular direction or purpose

Like a bee flying

round and round inside a jar